Crippled By Hurt
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
Hey friend,
How do you handle the pain of being hurt by another person? Do you face the pain and the hurt head-on as you work towards a positive resolution, or do you tend to sweep it under the rug to deal with it another day? Honestly, this issue of pain and hurt isn’t one that I deal with easily – whether it is in my relationships with friends/family or in my marriage. Most of the time, I tend to sweep it under the rug. Sometimes I think that if I don’t deal with it at all then maybe, just maybe, it will magically go away. Wrong! The problem is that it never goes away – the hurt only festers and grows into a massive volcano that is just waiting to explode.
This pain of being hurt by someone – especially our husbands - become a hostage situation if we aren’t careful. Before we realize it, unforgiveness seeps in like a cancer. It takes over our emotions and our thoughts. It pours out through our words and our actions. The pain from the wrongdoing that was done to us grows and grows until it succeeds in holding us hostage, squeezing out every ounce of a joy-filled life. And all while this hostage situation is unfolding, Satan is doing his happy dance. As long as the enemy can cripple and destroy marriages – honestly any relationship we have in life with others– he feels like he is winning the battle. (But we know who wins in the end – hallelujah!)
A couple of months ago, I heard a powerful saying that pretty much stopped me in my tracks. “Hurt people hurt people.” I never realized the truth of these words until God put them right in my path. Hurt people - who never heal from the hurt that they have felt in their life - will hurt other people. It’s not like we set out with a master plan to hurt other people – it just happens.
But how do we heal? How do we move past the pain and the hurt?
God’s word is powerful and needs to be our starting place when we have been hurt. Our key verse says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13 God has a lot to say about forgiveness and if we humbly seek Him, He will help us fight through the urge to react in our flesh. If you are anything like me, I can justify my emotions to stay mad at the one who wronged me. I can prove my case as if I was standing before a judge, and I can wallow in my self-pity and unforgiveness until it swallows me whole like quicksand! But that won’t help me heal or move forward in harmony with my spouse. And it definitely won’t honor and glorify God!
Sweet friend, I’m not sure what hurt or pain you are dealing with, but God knows. And He is ready and waiting to help you with it. Not a single one of us deserved God’s forgiveness. I know I didn’t for sure! But He graciously extends it to me and you day after day. He is the reason that we can forgive others. Does that make it easy? Absolutely not but it does make it possible.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for forgiving me of my sin and for extending to me your mercy and grace. I don’t deserve your grace. I mess up so much day in and day out and yet you keep pulling me back to you. Your love is relentless. Help me to forgive others like you forgive me. I want to be more like you and less like me. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Dig Deeper:
Forgiveness is not pretending like it didn’t happen or didn’t hurt. That’s lying. Forgiveness is a decision to release a debt regardless of how you feel. – Tony Evans
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 ESV
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18
Reflection:
What is it about forgiveness that you struggle with the most?
Write it down and ask God for His help in this area.