The Ache of My Heart From The Love Standard Series
“(Love) does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil.”
1 Corinthians 13:5 MEV
Regrets - such a small word but one that carries a big punch. I don’t know a single person that can look back over their life and not have regret here and there. I know I have many. But if we look at regret the right way we will see that regret is a cancer. It can rob us of joy and peace, causing us to look backward instead of forward.
I once knew a lady that was ridden with regret. She was such a sweet lady but every time I saw her, she was consumed with regret over things that had happened in her marriage. I never knew the extent of her story but something had happened in her marriage causing her to get divorced and she never recovered from it. Regret stole away any happiness that she could possibly have.
As I read this verse, I think of all the times that I have behaved improperly or put myself first. My heart aches for all the times that I haven’t shown love in the right way. Sweet friend, you might feel this way too. But we don’t have to stay here. The enemy loves to guilt us with regret by dangling all the bad decisions and wrong choices over our heads. Friend, we can’t give him the victory. We must recognize our failures, ask for forgiveness, and walk in victory.
Our key verse says, “(Love) does not behave itself improperly, seeks not its own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil.”
Paul starts this verse by telling us that love doesn’t behave or act improperly. Another way to say it is love isn’t rude. Rude refers to activity “in defiance of social and moral standards, with resulting disgrace, embarrassment, and shame.”
Love will never embarrass, disgrace, or cause shame.
Love - It seeks not its own. In a culture and society where so much is presented in terms of “self”, it can be hard to keep our focus on God’s standard for love. We live in a day and age where there is so much attention on self-awareness, self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-image, self-realization—friend, it is all the more important to rely on God’s definition and standard rather than the message that the world is shouting. The world wants us to focus solely on ourselves but Jesus calls us to rise above ourselves. He calls us to live, think, and love like He does.
Paul wrote this passage to the Corinthians to show them how little they were measuring up. The Corinthians were a diverse group of people that transgressed conventional social boundaries of ethnicity, gender, age, rank, status, and life situation. They definitely had their share of problems and Paul knew they needed to know the truth. And so do we.
Love is not easily provoked – what comes to mind here is more patience. We must remember this when our first response is to get angry.
Love -Thinks no evil – this is important. Now I know that it’s not like we walk around thinking evil thoughts towards our spouse. But how many times do we think unpleasant thoughts?
Philippians 4:8 says, ”Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report. If there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think on these things.”
Instead of thinking negative or unpleasant thoughts towards our husbands, choose to think on what is pure, true, honest, just, lovely, praiseworthy – God tells us to think on these things instead.
Make no mistake about this kind of love. The love Paul is talking about here is not passive and fluffy. This kind of love is an up at dawn, feet on the ground, tools in hand, working for the better of the other person, selfless kind of love. Paul’s declaration of love unifies and transcends our culture that screams take care of self-first.
Paul knew our tendencies to gravitate towards ourselves which is why he put importance on how love doesn’t act. I’m so glad he did.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for reminding me in your word of how love doesn’t act. Forgive me of all the times when I have not shown love the way you say I should show love. Help me to be more like you and less like me. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Dig Deeper:
” Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report. If there is any virtue, and if there is any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8 MEV
“Do all things without murmuring and disputing” Philippians 2:14 MEV
Reflection: Challenge #4
Journal and reflect on all the qualities you love about your husband
Challenge yourself to shift your thoughts when you start thinking unpleasant thoughts
What is one thing you can do this week to show your husband you are thinking about him and you appreciate all he does?