Fighting Words
“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” Proverbs 15:1 NLT
There have been so many times in my marriage where I wish I could go back in time and have a “do-over” to correct different situations that I could have handled better. Can you relate? Whether it was conversations that went wrong or a plethora of moments where one of us was selfish or just plain hurtful no longer seem justified as they did back then in the heat of the moment. It’s amazing how time and getting older can bring different perspectives to light.
The age-old phrase “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is a lie straight from the devil himself. Words do hurt. We may not let it show to our spouse, but hurtful words can pierce straight to the heart – leaving us feeling like we are wounded soldiers on a battlefield. All the while, the enemy is on the sidelines cheering and hoping for a fight to the death.
Friend, God’s word gives us instruction on what to do when we get into conversations with our husband and things start to go in the wrong direction. Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”
The book of Proverbs gives us wisdom for every situation that we will face in life.
Harsh words will fuel a fight between a husband and a wife before you can blink your eyes- it’s literally like pouring gasoline on a fire. Our key verse tells us that gentleness is the key to keeping a conversation from getting out of hand. A gentle answer deflects anger.
The definition of deflect is defined as to cause something to change direction, or to cause someone to deviate from an intended purpose.
The enemy wants nothing more than to see us in an extremely heated fight with our spouse, but when we lead with gentleness we deviate from the enemy’s intended purpose.
Do you know what that purpose is friend?
The enemy’s purpose is to destroy our relationship with our husband in any way he possibly can. He wants to blow it to smithereens so there isn’t a fragment remaining of what the relationship once was.
But where do we find gentleness when we need it?
The answer is in the Holy Spirit, which is God living inside us when we have placed our belief and faith in Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord. The more we dig into the word of God and allow God to transform our hearts and minds, the more we will become like Him – Instead of producing the fruits of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) we will be bearing the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23.)
When we allow the Holy Spirit to direct our thoughts and actions, we will need fewer “do-overs” from the fighting words that cripple our marriages.
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for loving us enough to give us your word – thank you for giving us wisdom to know how to fight life’s battles the right way. You never intended for us to battle our spouse and yet that is exactly what the enemy wants us to do. Teach me how to be gentle. Show me how to allow the Holy Spirit to lead me and guide me in all of life’s circumstances. Help me to have gentleness and self-control when disagreeing with my husband. In Jesus Name, Amen.
Dig Deeper:
“Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.” Proverbs 12:18 NLT