Six Lessons from the Life of Abigail
So David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, “Go up in peace to your house. See, I have obeyed your voice, and have granted your request.” 1 Samuel 25:35 MEV
I walked into the kitchen and immediately sensed that my husband was not in a good mood. He had been working diligently that day on replacing a transmission in a truck and the list of things that had gone wrong was immensely longer than anything that had gone right. Even though I had a million things on my mind to discuss with him, it just didn’t seem like the right time. And with the mood he was in, he probably wouldn’t have heard anything I would have said anyway.
Ever been there?
It’s times like this when I feel like I need some direction and encouragement from those who have gone before me. Truth be told, I may have exercised discernment in this situation but there have been a million more situations with my husband where I haven’t exercised any discernment at all and in doing so, have had many unpleasant conversations where the whole evening was disastrous.
In 1 Samuel 25, we find a woman by the name of Abigail who was married to a man named Nabal. Nabal was a very wealthy man – a rancher with an extensive wealth of sheep on the open range. The Bible gives us a glimpse into Nabal’s character just from his name. Nabal means “churl” which is an ancient term that means “angry, violent, loud-mouthed, and insulting, hard to please person.” To put it mildly, Nabal wasn’t the easiest man to live with. The Bible even describes Nabal as being very drunk (vs. 36). It sounds like Nabal was a violent, and at the very least, a verbally abusive husband.
During the time that Abigail and Nabal’s story takes place, David, the future king of Israel, is on the run from King Saul, who really wants to kill David. David and his men had been living in the mountains and had been looking after Nabal’s sheep, making sure that no one harmed them or stole them. When David sent a messenger to Nabal requesting food and supplies, Nabal responded in a very ungrateful and insulting way, refusing to help David or repay David for his watch care over Nabal’s sheep. David, being infuriated at the very thought of Nabal’s actions, vowed to destroy Nabal and all he owned and was on the warpath when Abigail intercepted him.
We can learn several lessons from the life of Abigail.
1. Be a woman of wisdom - The Bible tells us that Abigail was a woman of good understanding (vs. 3). She was smart but more importantly, she was wise. She exercised wisdom in each situation she faced.
Ephesians 5:15-16 says, Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Proverbs 19:8 says, The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.
2. Have a positive attitude no matter your circumstances- Abigail’s positive attitude didn’t allow her circumstances to define her attitude and outcome. The Bible speaks in verse 3 that Abigail’s countenance was beautiful. The word countenance takes into account a person’s entire image. Abigail definitely had outward beauty but more importantly, she was beautiful on the inside. She found a way of not allowing her husband’s issues to affect her in a negative way. She didn’t wear her unhappy marriage where others could see.
Proverbs 3:15-18 says, She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her; those who hold her fast are called blessed.
3. Don’t be lazy and don’t blame others - Abigail was a woman of action. The Bible says in vs. 18 that Abigail hurried. She wasn’t lazy nor did she idly stand around throwing blame on her husband while he was partying it up. When she got word that David was coming for revenge, she immediately started getting provisions ready to make amends for the actions of her husband.
Colossians 3:23 states, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.
4. Be humble- Abigail was humble. Verses 23-32 tell us that Abigail humbled herself before David and asked for forgiveness and mercy for the actions of her husband.
James 4:6 says, But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”
Ephesians 4:2 states, Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
5. Always acknowledge the sovereignty of God - Abigail recognized God’s sovereignty. As she is pleading with David in verses 23-32, she gives credit where credit is due. She has a keen understanding that everything must filter through God’s hands and ultimately the glory must go to the Lord.
Colossians 1:16-17 says, For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.
6. Exercise patience and discernment - Abigail exercised patience and discernment. When Abigail came back from her meeting with David, her husband Nabal was very drunk (vs. 36-37). Abigail didn’t confront Nabal as soon as she walked in the door. But rather, she chose to patiently wait until morning to share with her husband the events that led up to their lives being spared.
Proverbs 18:15 states, The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.
Proverbs 15:18 says, “Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.”
Because of Abigail’s humble actions, David responds with mercy and grace. 1 Samuel 25:35 says, So David received from her hand what she had brought him and said to her, “Go up in peace to your house. See, I have obeyed your voice, and have granted your request.” 1 Samuel 25:35
God eventually removes Abigail from her terrible situation. When Nabal hears from Abigail how they were spared from harm, his heart became dead as stone and within two weeks he was dead. After Nabal’s death, David takes Abigail as his wife and she eventually becomes a queen. Talk about getting a change of scenery. Abigail had every reason to have a pity party for herself but she didn’t. Her situation didn’t define who she was nor did it distract her from her mission.
Dear God,
Thank you for women like Abigail who led by example in the mess of her marriage. Help me to be a woman who exercises wisdom, discernment, gentleness, patience, and humility like Abigail did. She was in a terrible situation but she didn’t allow her situation to define her. She kept her gaze locked on you. Help me to do the same in every situation I face. In Jesus name, Amen.
Reflection:
What challenges you the most about Abigail’s story?
What is one positive thing you will implement in your own story?