Becoming a Grace-Giver

“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love.”

Psalm 103:8 CSB

 I’ve been doing a study on God’s transforming grace over the last several weeks and friend, it’s been convicting and extremely eye-opening. God has been so faithful to pull me back to Him, lovingly showing me how I’ve misunderstood and abused His grace. Not only has He revealed areas in my walk with Him that were misaligned but He has also revealed areas in my other relationships that were operating outside of how He designed them – one of them being my marriage.

And it reminds me of a meeting I had about a year ago. I was seeking counsel from a wise friend about a few situations I was struggling with. I was babbling on about how one of my children was struggling with a certain individual. I had given all the advice I knew to give and I was at my wits end on how to handle the situation. I wanted to encourage my child with the issue but had run out of any encouraging words that seemed to help. The words that proceeded from my wise friend’s mouth wasn’t anything that I expected to hear. “Extend grace” was the words that hung in the balance and silenced my babbling.

If we are honest, we all want grace extended to us when we fail to be less than what is expected of us. But extending grace to others, well, that is difficult. It’s burdensome when friends let us down. It’s grueling when kids disobey. It’s almost impossible for that co-worker or person we don’t seem to jive with. It’s tough when the person working at the fast food restaurant gets our order completely and totally wrong. And it’s problematic when the tension with our spouse is less than ideal. 

However, I’m learning that I can extend grace more freely when I abide in Christ’s grace. Because He lavishly extended His grace to me first, I have the ability to become a grace-giver. Sweet friend, how is that possible? It’s possible because when we allow His grace (the grace that we didn’t deserve ourselves) to transform us, we become a conduit of His grace – God’s grace overflowing from our lives into the lives of others.

Our husbands may not deserve our grace in that particular situation, you know the one that seems to make our blood boil, but when we extend grace when it’s not deserved – we imitate our heavenly Father’s character. Psalm 103:8 says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in faithful love.” Verse 10 and 11 goes on to say that God hasn’t given us what we deserved – He didn’t deal with us according to our failures, faults, or our scarlet sins. Instead God demonstrated what His character is all about. Compassion. Grace. Patience. Love.

 And dear friend, I can’t think of anyone else I would rather be like than my heavenly Father. He always sets the example for us. When we view our circumstances or that person in our situations through the lens of grace, it positions us not to react in the flesh. It positions us to be a grace-giver the way Jesus is.

 Our husband or that random person we encounter may not deserve our grace but if we stop and think about it, isn’t that what grace is all about? God showed us His amazing grace by not giving us what we deserved and by showering us with His unmerited favor. Becoming a grace-giver doesn’t come naturally but the more time we spend with God, the more He transforms us into a grace-giver like He is.


Heavenly Father,

Thank you for your grace – your amazing grace that I didn’t and still don’t deserve. Thank you for loving me enough to show me where I’m not extending the same grace that you extend to me. Help me in my marriage to not react in my flesh first but to view my husband and every situation we encounter through the lens of grace. Help me with my relationships to be more of a grace-giver like you are. You are so gracious and loving and I thank you for being who you are and for pulling me back to you. In Jesus Name, Amen.


 Dig Deeper:

But since you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in the love we have kindled in you —see that you also excel in this grace of giving.” 2 Corinthians 8:7

But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it.” Ephesians 4:7

  Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 1 Peter 4:10


  Reflection:

Do you struggle with extending grace when the person doesn’t seem to deserve grace?

What can you do today to be more of a grace-giver?

Who has God placed on your heart to start showing His grace to first?