Divided and Shattered
“But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.” Matthew 12:25 NKJV
I could feel my blood boiling with each word that was spoken. I didn’t understand how a simple argument had turned into a warzone between my husband and me but somehow it had. Both of us were wounded by the other and felt so defeated. I sat there and tried to replay the scene in my mind, looking for some explanation as to what in the world just happened between us. But nothing came to mind but a bewildered blank stare. Tears filled my eyes and rolled down my cheeks as I tried to put the pieces of our shattered evening back together.
That is when I realized how truly shattered our evening had become. As I turned to walk out of the room, there they were – standing still as if afraid to move – their cheeks wet from the many tears falling one right after the other. Our children’s happy evening had suddenly come to an abrupt halt and try as we might, we couldn’t erase what they had just witnessed. Has this ever happened to you? As much as you try to not have disagreements in front of the children, it seems to be inevitable.
Sweet friend, I understand how you feel. I’m ashamed to tell you but I have allowed it to happen more times than I wish. I’ve been guilty of allowing my emotions to get the best of me. However, when we are confronted with times when we don’t see eye to eye as parents, we must develop a strategy to put in place for moments like this. If we don’t, these battlefield moments will continue to happen, and our children will ultimately be the ones to be wounded the most.
In Matthew 12:25 Jesus said, “But Jesus knew their thoughts, and said to them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.” In our key verse, Jesus was talking to the religious leaders of His day. These religious leaders hated Him and endlessly tried to trick Him time after time. They didn’t see Jesus as the promised Messiah that had come to redeem and rescue them. They saw Him as a threat. And Jesus goes on to tell them in verse 30 that if they aren’t with Him then they are against Him.
We need to apply this wisdom to our conversations and family situations. It makes it difficult for our families to stand against the enemy if we aren’t operating as a united front as parents. Some of the best advice I have ever gotten has been to make the decision to walk away in an argument before things escalate and get out of control. I’ll be honest – it’s hard to do that but it’s needed. Most often it means that we will need to swallow our pride and allow ourselves to get in a posture of humility before God and pray over the situation. But if we are honest with ourselves, it is better to be willing to take a time-out and be humbled than to destroy the most precious gift God has blessed us with. Don’t you agree?
Heavenly Father,
Thank you for showing me where I am messing up and for helping me get back on the right path as a parent. I don’t understand why you are so patient with me, but I am so thankful that you are. Please forgive me of all the times I have allowed my temper to control my emotions, actions, and words. I have been so guilty of not being aware of the people that I hurt the most. Please continue to teach me how to be more like you and less like me. Help me to show my children a united front and not a divided one. You are so good, and I love you. In Jesus Name. Amen.
Truth to Meditate on:
A child’s security is based not on how much his parents love him, but on how much his parents love each other. – Susan Alexander Yates
What strategy will you put in place to diffuse any disagreement that could turn into an ugly warzone?